Boundaries to Build Healthy Relationships

One of the things that can be particularly difficult to achieve as people with mood disorders, is a healthy relationship. There’s a lot of reasons behind this, so let’s start off with discussing what insights we already have around this problem – does anyone have some thoughts they’d like to share? 

Healthy relationships are key to our physical health, spiritual and emotional wellbeing, and it's scientifically proven that a person who has strong connections to others tends to live longer. (Ted talk link below). As we just discussed, we may need to learn how to have a healthy relationship with others. We may have been raised within a family where boundaries were neither taught nor respected. We may have been in a church family which only taught how to serve selflessly without limits. (link to boundary setting article from Seattle Christian Counselling) https://seattlechristiancounseling.com/articles/how-setting-boundaries-can-save-your-relationship#:~:text=Boundaries%20need%20to%20exist%20in,t%20get%20any%20more%20clear. And even if we managed to avoid both these pitfalls, our self-esteem may be so low that we think the only way to be wanted is to give all that we have. Can anyone relate to these issues? 

This is a broad area of study, and to be honest, it requires a lifetime of trial and error, as we slowly recognize what we need as we grow. The best I can offer is some links for ideas and further discussion, and encouragement for those who feel overwhelmed to seek out counselling to help navigate their own feelings and needs while building some boundaries of their own. For those who have already done some work on boundaries, now is a good time to refresh our perspectives. 

Boundaries are about everyone feeling safe to thrive and grow, and to become closer to one another. Living Room has some boundaries, rules for our meetings, precisely for that goal, for people to feel safe to share and enter into relationships with one another. But each individual needs boundaries too, and I hope this is a place where everyone can practice saying what they need personally, and that we each respect each other’s boundaries with the same love and respect that Christ shows us.  

We can be inspired and guided by the lessons that were given to us for self-care, through the life of Jesus.  He was all powerful, but did not push himself on others, teaching with humility and by invitation, to honor his value of free will.  Christ repeatedly sought out alone time to pray and rest, often in the midst of peer pressure to keep serving. Even as we are tempted every day to not follow our own boundaries, so much more was he tested in the wilderness by Satan, to not be true to the character and purpose of God on earth. Where would our relationship with God be, if he had not stayed true to himself?  

As we set healthy boundaries to manage our mood disorders, and to be true to the person God created us to be, we are building into the future of healthy relationships with all those around us and in our most important relationship, with God. 

 Ted Talk:   Susan Pinker: The secret to living longer may be your social life